happiness - lies

happiness scares me.

its short-life feeling seduces me into this illusion

where such bliss, does exist.

i was blown away by this amusement.

where i could laugh off my worries 

where i could smile over little silly things

where i could secretly hope this hour will never end.

i never believed in happy ending.

never was, never will.

but, when i am happy, i'll try my best to keep the moment alive

for so long, i wish it will be eternal

but life never seems to go that way

behind this contentment, there's always a broken heart,

wishing to be mended

but is ready to be punished again

and sorrow then awaits

and such grief will haunt my days all over again

although, "happy" starts to show her existence

this scar, may not heal.

there are just pieces of me

who want to believe that joy is purely goodness.

but some believe it is the deed of evil

whose mask is stay hidden til time explodes every inch of its lie.

it's tiring.

what's the meaning of a smile,

if in a second it may turn into a tear?

what's the use of a joke,

if it's just to cover up the ugly truth?

what's the use of an uphill battle,

if no one's going to stand there to celebrate the triumph?

what's the use of this life then?

i'm sorry.

but i'm giving up.

and how i wish i can have faith

in this thing called 

family.

cheers.

sartob